RealDreamer1976's favorite poems pages, page 1

Last login: 45 hours agoRealDreamer1976: RealDreamer1976 is a 32 year old single guy from Minnesota, USA.; Likes 1,652 pages, 23 videos, 21 photos • 128 fans • Received 31 reviews; Member since Jun 23, 2006

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http://webpages.charter.net/realdreamer1976/Wish%20&%20Dream%20On%20Resize.jpg: Jul 9, 2007 8:14am 1 review poetry, journal, poems
http://webpages.charter.net/realdreamer1976/Wish%20&%20Dream%20On%20Resize.jpg; I wrote this to express these emotions which were eating me up inside. I have not had a "crush" like this a long time. Poem by Yours Truely

StumbleUpon - RealDreamer1976s web site reviews and blog: Dec 13, 2006 12:34am 1 review journal, poems
http://realdreamer1976.stumbleupon.com/review/6942433/; Dec 13, 2006 2:34am I feel
the tension in
the world; it drains
my strength like a thirsty vampire.

I feel an ever lurking apocalyptic anticipation
and I realize that part of me wants
the world to hurl itself
into the abyss
finally.

If it
were thus,
right now, I would at
least be able to stop having the feeling
of not-knowing...how? when? where? who? what?
These questions often invade my daily thoughts.Why? Maybe it's because my subconscious knows... The future meaning of my life would come to crystal-clear focus.

To know about the end of days, to witness these events, would at last answer...
What does my life mean? What do I do next? What should I become?
Those endless, unanswered, nagging questions would
suddenly be irrelevant against
the world's
end.

h
o
r
r
i
b
l
e

I
know it is.
It's the easy way out.
It's what I was taught as a child...
That God would smote the sinful and rapture the righteous.
They never fostered the idea that the future was something to look forward to.

I was a sinner in their eyes. I prayed in vain for my secret iniquity to escape doomed hell.
Even now, as I long ago rejected this evil, loathing cult faith, I've
had to start at ground zero. I'm making up for lost time.
Time lost exploring who I am;
like children usually do...
...to answer the
question.

What
do I WANT?!
They anticipated a long,
bright future, and with that question answered,
knew the answers to the next questions. What do I do? Where do I go?

All I can do is pick a course and stay with it; ignore the pervasive apocalypse of the world
Those thoughts which almost make me schizophrenic...
The fear of every person, place, and thing.
The feeling of Oddworld,
where every thing
is really no
thing.

Arbitrary.

Feeling
like a clone whom
has outlived his original self.
Over and over again he sees his end as though
it was passed him and yet he lives on to drift another day. He reinvents himself
once again, taking into account the nucleus and electrons, the oaks and the pines, the forest for the trees, the solar system for the planets, and on and on until he sees the multiverse for the universes and again he sees the nucleus and electrons.
Fear...that no thing is something, that meaning
is a lie wrapped in a
never-ending
riddle.

Southwest Gallery One: Nov 24, 2006 9:41pm 10 reviews journal, poems
http://www.charlescramer.com/pages/sw1484.html; Photo by Charles Cramer A river which does not flow does not circulate, growing dank. It does not renew and spread its wealth. It sits in its own pool of silt. It is a relief to release that flow, like a dam on the Nile being overcome by its shear might. I cannot forget the sun shining through the waterfall, just as the light of hope shines through my tears which cleanses my soul once again. Poem by Yours Truely

StumbleUpon - RealDreamer1976s web site reviews and blog: Nov 24, 2006 9:39pm 1 review journal, poems
http://realdreamer1976.stumbleupon.com/review/6561744/; I hate...

...plastic bags.
When you krinkle 'em they sound like 50,000
tiny pieces of bubblewrap being popped over and over again!

...big trucks and sportscars, waking me up at night, interrupting my meditation.
The way they roar down the street, the guy just exudes "Pay no attention to that little dick behind my fly. Hey look at my machoness!" oh wow.

...winter.
The bone chill perma-frost
death, dark, energy sucker.

...the sound of screaming children.
The more their parents spoil them the unhappier they get.
They never learn: happiness is wanting what you have, not having what you want.

...the way the consumer believes the universe revolves around them.
The moment they find out that they can't have what they want,
they disregard any positive experience by taking the deprevation personally.

...hypocracy.
When a person is so self-centered that they dilute the truth about themselves
by projecting it upon other people.

...religious zealotry.
The zealot hides behind piety while they
twist the words of their gods into a form that does their dirty work.

...country music!!!
There is nothing that goes more against the grain,
like fingernails on a chalkboard only worse.

...one with a pridefull, closed mind.
Any new idea is dismissed or demonized,
unless they thought of it first. And if proven wrong, they simply ignore it.

My thanks to the internet for letting me vent.

StumbleUpon - RealDreamer1976s web site reviews and blog: Nov 24, 2006 9:38pm 1 review journal, poems
http://realdreamer1976.stumbleupon.com/review/6572659/; I love...

...a great, big thunderstorm
with swirling clouds, roaring winds,
clap of thunder, and blitzing lightening!

...a day at the beach,
with scantily-clad hot men all around,
the sand burning, and a good cancer-producing sunburn!

...an open mind.
A person who actually considers
the possibility that they could be wrong.

...my car.
Ok, it's a bit old and common,
but, it runs like a charm and I love her!

...my family.
I couldn't ever want another.
Even when it's dysfunctional, I know that we'll be ok.

...the stary night sky,
with all it's mystery and history.
A shooting star promises a wish.

...mind-exploding sex,
which, being known by both,
integrates sensuality and sexuality.

...a perfect kiss
which lasts an eternity per moment,
and ought not necessarily lead anywhere.

I am learning to love myself in the process.

StumbleUpon - RealDreamer1976s web site reviews and blog: Nov 24, 2006 9:37pm 1 review journal, poems
http://realdreamer1976.stumbleupon.com/review/6608816/; Fairytale

Of late memory invades my mind,
filling my heart with regrets, sorrow,...pain.
I thought I was over this, but rarely is a fairytale forgotten.

Especially, the tale of personality idealization.

Most fairytales end well.
Princess in peril. Knight in shining armor saves the day.
Mine is one that begins magically and ends with a broken heart.

Many have a similar tale. Here's mine:

November, 2003; I'm a meth dealer (thank God, am no longer).
Higher than a kite; on top of the world.
I was up for days, party after party with my friends.

I was a sketchy bitch, goofy as hell.

There he was...Had I met him before?
Yes, but I was too scared; not this time.
His name I will not mention, also high, and we were magnetized.

"...I love the way you move. I love the way you move. I love the way you move.
I love the way, I love the way..."

He was so hot to me, just the way I like my guy.
Slim, sooooo cute, COCKY motherfucker, intelligent, one-of-a-kind.
Maybe it was the drugs, or the masks we both wore which hid our true selves.

I didn't see who he really was...I had no clue and neither did he.

He needed someone to take care of him.
He clung to me, hid himself in my arms.
We made up our own language, "raptorspeak".

"Kung Pow that kitty now, schezuan style."

He was a dancer, a blond Puerto Rican.
Shorter than me but with a big cock.
I loved his cock...I spent hours...

So many plans we made, he said we could rule the world...

I listened to his stories,
cuddled, fucked, cuddled...fucked...
We were two lovers against the world.

I gave him a teener for Christmas, told him to sell it and get himself more.

He began to change.
He was suddenly very commanding and demanding.
He asked me if I had any porn.

It became a substitute to replace me.

He had this power over me.
I did whatever he said to do;
he set the agenda, minute by minute. I couldn't keep up.

He began steeling my buyers...my seeds of resentments.

I've always been depressed,
for as long as I can remember.
The time came, when even meth wasn't enough.

Smoke a bowl, snort a line, nothing...sadness, lethargy,...ANGER.

There was nothing between us,
no adoration anymore.
I had become his slave.

I cried. He told me I was a puppydog. I said, "Yes, I am".

He mocked, "What are you going through?"
He really couldn't see?
I walked away.

Came back. Fought. Walked away. Came back. Ad nauseum.

I turned into a dead weight.
All I wanted to do was be alone with him.
But he didn't care.

I got him started dealing. It was all he thought about.

I was falling apart. I felt so alone.
Our connection was broken.
I felt used, discarded.

There were a few times,
when I felt a glimmer.
It was during every time he needed me.

We eventually broke up.

He asked if I could be the man he first met.
I said no.
This is me.

I'm a child in a man's body. But he was a monster, HIV+ and never told me.

I ask myself,
Why after all this time, after the deceits and lies...
I romanticize this man!

I miss you, the man you weren't, the love we never had.

StumbleUpon - RealDreamer1976s web site reviews and blog: Nov 15, 2006 9:19pm 1 review poems
http://realdreamer1976.stumbleupon.com/review/6514408/; Losing My Mind

It seems like the more I plan...
Organize! Strategize! Memorize!
...it's all very well done and detailed.

I screw it all up anyhow!

Write it down! Use different color HIGHLIGHTS!!
Oh my god...I paid so much attention to the yellow notes...
I completely missed the just-as-relevant orange and green ones!

Double booked...call, reschedule...double booked AGAIN!

FUCK! I just lost my planner.
Oh well, what a help it was anyhow *scoff*
Got a new one...forgot it.

The appointments could be ETCHED into my cerebrum and still get missed.

I listen to all the best life advice...
Make a list. Hang it where you'll NEVER miss it.
OK cool, looked it over...got my cellphone, made my lunch and it's in the fridge..

...on the road...it's in the fridge.

I'm thinking...
buddhist monk.
Wake up. Meditate. Tend to garden. Meditate. Go to bed.

I *should* be able to handle that.

The Desert and the Oasis: Oct 4, 2006 10:18pm 1 review journal, poems
http://www.geocities.com/realdreamer1976/Desert-Dessert.html; My poem about life and fate.

StumbleUpon - RealDreamer1976s web site reviews and blog: Sep 29, 2006 10:46pm 1 review poems
http://realdreamer1976.stumbleupon.com/review/5819058/; 9/29/2006
Dissociative...Sexually...Repressed...Expression

I have often found...when I least expect....a really special guy
it's especially true now...as I meet him...my commitment to myself...feels in the way
damn you Murphy's Law...which says that anything...that can go wrong...
will inconveniently go wrong...in a time when...
my heart is screaming...HE IS SO RIGHT!...but d a m n you Murphy...
the timing is wrong!

I must let go...of my heart's expectations...being ok as friends...
when my heart yearns...to express my attraction...as the chance meeting...
leads to lively conversation...and the SPARKS fly...to kiss that smile...
desiring to be close...wanting to see underneath...to indulge my curiosity...
what might I miss...if I don't act...he might be gone...I must learn to love...myself...first

StumbleUpon - RealDreamer1976s web site reviews and blog: Sep 23, 2006 10:17am 1 review poems
http://realdreamer1976.stumbleupon.com/review/5728896/; MEN
Their muscles,
the primal sex drive,
their PHALLUS...

DRIVES ME CRAZY!

To abstain is to build
and BUILD the desire
till it consumes every
waking thought! Yet, I'm
satisfied. I'm re-virginized,
This, sacred time for
myself. Waiting till that
moment when I'm ready,
when he, that right man
comes into my life!